Ok, I think I see what you're trying to do now. Sorry for misunderstanding earlier.
I was working on something similiar to this recently, actually. My goal was to call an InfoPath form from within an application, passing a parameter in to switch to a specific view depending on the state of the application, receive data in InfoPath, write to XML, and have the application read the XML. I found this page to be helpful:
http://geekswithblogs.net/bpaddock/archive/2004/05/14/4907.aspx
However, you are trying to do a little more than I was trying to do by actually catching events in InfoPath in another application. I don't know if this is possible, but you might be able to hack your way into it. One idea might be to have InfoPath write out an XML file within the event handlers that you are trying to catch and have your application "watching" for these XML files, and once they are found run your code. That's just a thought. Anyway, if I understand correctly what you are trying to do, I think it will be rather difficult.
I hope this helps, please let us know if you figure it out, I would be interested to see what you come up with.
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Matt Faus
InfoPath Dev Texas
Matt Faus / Microsoft InfoPath MVPQdabra® Software / Streamline data gathering to turn process into knowledge