I put the DB on the same server as sharepoint. When I put the form into MSS it doesn't connect to the DB so, I tried to re-design the form in MSS and re-do the data connections and it won't allow any changes to the "Main" connection - everything is greyed out. I could connect the secondary data connections for the drop downs and they started to work in a fashion. When opening the drop down properties box in design mode, added the secondary data source to populate - it has no "modify" button to set it for ascending order or sql test for me to "select unique".
We did end up with the sharepoint list for some of the fields but you have to manually add each field - but because you can't change the main connection or delete it - its pretty pointless so part of the form worked (but not in ascending order) and the rest of the form can't connect to the database.
sorry its a bit long winded - thanks