Yes, those 3 rules should be very easy and are correct.
1) Just the library link, but if you do the entire URL with the view name, it will cut that part off after you publish anyway, so don't worry about it.
2) Yes, and this can either be the email submit function of InfoPath that sends the current view of the form within the email, or you can do your own workflow that generates an email. I do this easily with SharePoint Designer, so it should be easy with VS. Using the built-in submit to email is probably the easiest by far as long as you're ok with the view. You could ultimately create an email-specific view that looks very nice and is only for the workflow email part (not for usage within the form).
3) Super easy action with no strings attached.
I don't know what you mean by add reference. I never use such a thing. I simply go to Tools > Manage Data Connections > Add data connection. From there, I add the UserProfileService and go to town. There should be no code required for any of this and thus no need to built the form in VS.
Oh, did my blog entries help at all, or did you figure it out from other help? I just started the blog, so I'm trying to see if it's of any value. It's a ton of work (I never realized and have a higher appreciation for others), so I want to make sure it's worth continuing and adding to. Thanks!